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Doctor Jamison has helped me figure out I was drinking hard so I could make myself numb and not have to deal with the things I was feeling. It didn't work. It only made me more vulnerable to Brian. It made it easy for him to get me to sleep with him even though I really didn't like him. I knew he was one of those men who think every woman is a "score," and who feel nothing for the woman as a human being. I knew he was a scummy thing to begin with and I knew it every time I let him do things to me.Doctor Jamison and I think that I was degrading myself to bring myself down to where I figured I would be equal with my Mom and Dad and Aunt Ruth. They were the all of my life for so long. I guess something inside me was saying they were the best I could be and so I tried to be them. It wasn't working; I knew better from being around my dear husband and daughter. That was why it was tearing me up. It was hard breaking that conditioning but I'm here finally.We also found out that a part of me. A plus I offered was a strong market share in European truck markets.I met with my new friends for four hours that Wednesday afternoon. We went through what I’d learned were the ‘normal’ steps in negotiations with many French companies. First, we enjoyed a late lunch, talking about anything but business and enjoying some fine wine from the Loire Valley. I made note of the Sancerre wine that set well with my palate. On the spot I ordered several cases shipped to me in the U.S. Second, we moved to a conference room and discussed the overall markets in the businesses we were in. Third, we agreed without mentioning price or costs what an improved arrangement of the assets in the market would represent. In this case, we agreed uniformly that their ownership of my Spanish subsidiary would do wonders for their business and bottomline.Fourth, we started to toss around various money figures. I put an outrageous price on the table that made them all cluck and tsk tsk around the table about how.
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